Wednesday, January 29, 2014

My heart's desire

I used to be scared of having kids. Was I really made to be a mom? I didn't even see myself as a stay at home mom really. In my somewhat small town, I would dream. I would dream big of being a famous actor/singer or fashion designer. Anything that would take me away from that somewhat small town.

When the idea of being a military wife first came up. I was most certainly not interested. Well, I was scared. The only picture I got of the military life was a non operational, run down George Air Force base. Or way out in the boonies, middle of nowhere Edwards Air Force base. I was scared! Who wouldn't be at the sight  of those places? 

But God had other plans!

I had been working hard on dreaming up my life plans in high school. The idea of being a mom was far from my mind. And the possibility of being a military wife was lost. 
I focused on my life and my dreams this time. I looked into photography schools, performing art schools, Christian schools. 
Not really making a decision. 

Then this boy walked into my life... Like they always do. He changed me, he changed my heart. He was in the Army so close from graduating basic training. Uh- oh a military guy? How did this happen again? I couldn't help it. I fell... I fell hard. We started talking and two months in he deployed to Iraq. 
And I had my first taste of the military life. I stayed faithful and true. I was honest and attentive. We lasted the entire 12 month deployment. { well minus a couple months but that doesn't count} 
I knew what sacrifice meant now, I knew what I wanted now. 

I may have never had the college experience. After all we got married at 19/20. I may have not experienced the normal young adult life. But I have gotten so much more.

After all God knew what he was doing when he brought Evan and I together. When he made me an Army wife to an amazing man. When he made me a mommy to two precious babies. One in heaven and one precious girl who loves to dance, loves footie pajamas, and loves to make us smile. I didn't need to be scared because my life was in Gods hands and he knew what was best for me even when I didn't. He knew the desires of my heart and he followed through on his promise. I know it's only the beginning.

And you know what I still got out of that somewhat small town. I am still avid about my passions. {Fashion, Photography, Music} I still get to pursue them in one way or another. I've had a life full of trials AND blessings. A life full of adventures!

PSALM 37:4

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."


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