Meadows and Reeds

Friday, January 8, 2021

Dave Ramsey Update {The Importance of an Emergency Fund}

 

Hey guys! You didn't think my last post about buying a car would be the end of our Dave Ramsey journey? I wouldn't leave you guys hanging like that. So I decided to do a follow up post so you wouldn't feel alone out there with your financial struggles or even financial successes. Having people in it with you, and supporting you is so important. As I have posted before 2020 was insane to say the least. I know everyone has had their different financial situations. Which is why I wanted to dedicate a specific post to the importance in having an Emergency fund. I think everyone can either say "I wish I had had an emergency savings." Or "I'm so glad we had an emergency fund." After this last year kicking us right in the butt. Parents being forced to work from home and basically home school their kids. People losing their jobs and their businesses. It amazes me on what is still standing and it saddens me the local businesses we lost. Thankfully we fell under the category of "I'm so glad that we had an emergency fund." Not because of loss of a job. But for two important reasons. 


Reason 1: 

The world did not stop moving we still had financial emergencies come up in 2020. We have now lived with no credit cards for about a year and a half. Any major or minor emergency is going to be coming out of that emergency fund. That way we are not still owing someone after our financial emergency like we would if we would've on a credit card. 

It felt like a lot of emergencies too. Annoying as they were we still made it work and we just go back to rebuilding it afterward. We PAY OURSELVES BACK not a bank, or credit card.

2020 financial emergencies

April: Car Maintenance $636.74

May: Locksmith $184

{freak incident where the lock mechanism broke on a bedroom door and wouldn't open}

June: Plane tickets for a funeral. $473.92

Washer broke got a new set. $1423.96

Dec: Transmission $4909.67

{Ended the year with a new transmission}

TOTAL= $7628.29

In just emergencies alone. I couldn't imagine having to deal with loss of job, unemployment, etc.

Even now that I totaled it all out seems so insane that we managed to do all that without using a credit card.


Reason 2:

With our financial freedom we were able to help and give to others. Tithing to our home church not only  helped pay the staff but was used to help others in the community who were having financial hardships. We supported local businesses in the area. Supported friends small businesses financially by buying their product etc. I also had a new years goal last year to give everyone a birthday and Christmas present for 2020 and I did that successfully. {I'm big on birthdays}

 

Emergency fund should be $1000 at the minimum and 3-6 months expenses (i.e electric, water, groceries bills etc.


Ways to earn extra money to fund your Emergency fund

We didn't just rely on my husbands income from his main job. We also did a lot of side hustles. 

These are the ones we have used and we always finding more.

DoorDash driver

{A great way to earn money by delivering groceries, food etc}

Shopkick {Scanning, shopping}: 

{I've been using this one for a few years now and it has helped fund a lot of things}

USE CODE: EARN642480

MyPoints  {Surveys and shopping}

https://www.mypoints.com?rb=71146176 

 Fetch {Shopping/scan receipts}: 

USE CODE: DJ69T


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Thursday, January 7, 2021

New Year, Same thing

 I had every intention of writing a Christmas post and that didn't happen. Then I had every intention of writing a 2020 recap post. That didn't happen either. So before it's my birthday I figured I needed to get on this. Today the kids go back to school and I feel like the break never even happened. It was the only day that my youngest decided to sleep in. The first day back of setting alarms again. I will never understand that about kids. They sleep in on days they have to get up early, and they get up early when they can sleep in. They also stay up late and get up early, and go to bed early and still get up early. Never ending cycle. 

Anyway, I digress. I noticed now that it's 2021 a new year. We all kind of buy into this "New year, New me" mentality. Now there's a new trend of not putting that kind of pressure on yourselves. Anyone else tired of what everyone tells you what to do. "Everyone" meaning society, social media, trends, etc. 

What drastic measures are you going to take to change yourself from one night to the next? Covid is still happening. Our kids are still remote learning or for some lucky folks in different parts of the country have some kind of normalcy in that area. The country is still going insane. We overwhelm our minds with "I'm going to go on this diet." "I'm going to work harder with this addiction." But what does that do? It makes us cram all the bad behavior in before midnight. Eat all the junk you can because the very next day you have to change your thoughts, your feelings, your behaviors in that particular area of your life. True change can't be done overnight. We have to take one day at a time. Allow mistakes, allow the change to occur gradually. Here's the thing. New Years resolutions are a little pointless. It should be called "Goals for this year to possible attain. But if not its okay life still goes on. You have not failed". 

The idea of being a failure has been on my mind lately. We get so wrapped in the idea that if we don't do productive things. And do them perfectly we are a failure. Which 2020 was a huge test of that. Especially for stay at home moms. Our whole identity is wrapped up in the things we get done in a day. Keeping the house clean, doing the dishes and the laundry. Getting the groceries, and cooking meals. Maybe, if we had some leftover minutes in the day we can do something for ourselves. Oh if only. 

You don't have to be perfect at everything all the time. My desktop screensaver currently says "Progress not perfection". I think those are good words to live by for the new year. Let's just try one day at a time to be the better version of ourselves.













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Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Christmas break {Christmas Movie list}

 Well we made it to Christmas Break. We survived our first (technically second semester of remote learning). While we are so thankful for the break. We are definitely apprehensive about the next school year. I can't wait to go back to normal. Not this new weird normal. 

So to bring some joy into the equation here we've been binge watching Christmas movies non-stop.

I've put together a list of our favorites must see every year with some newer ones or even ones you have forgotten about. 

Feel free to comment with your favorite Christmas Movie.


Classic Christmas Movies:

1} Home Alone

2} Home Alone 2

3}  Santa Clause

4} Santa Clause 2

5} Elf

6} A Christmas Story

7} A Christmas Carol (George C. Scott version is the best)

8}It's a Wonderful Life (we watch it every Christmas Eve)

9} Miracle on 34th Street

10} White Christmas

Honorable Mentions:

11} Four Christmases

                                                                    12} Bad Moms Christmas 

 

Christmas Movies you may have forgotten about:

1} Jingle all the way

 2} Jack Frost

 3}  I'll be home for Christmas

4} Christmas with the Kranks 

5} National Lampoon's Christmas vacation 

 


 

HULU/NETFLIX/Amazon/ Disney + worth watching:

1} Borrowed Hearts

2}  Holidate

3} The Holiday Calender

4} Noelle

5} Holiday In the Wild

6}Jingle Jangle

7} The Knight before Christmas

 

 











 

 

 

 

 


 

 


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Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Leopard in the Fall

Look at me back again. I honestly am on a roll. I'm just getting organized! Do you ever get like that? Where you just can't take the mess anymore. You put on your loud music, have some kind of caffeine and just check those things off your list. Remote learning and remote working has made it more of a challenge. That's for sure. But I'm definitely feeling it today and this week. We've almost been in Colorado for a whole year now and I just want to finish the things that I've started. This is mainly due in part to all my Christmas decorations still sitting all over the floor. I think I am definitely over thinking things. It's hard when you are in a new house and you have to find new places for things. Things get lost or broken in the move, your style changes. There are certain things I look forward to when you retire and are in one place. 

With that said I'm going to get back to it.
I will leave you with this outfit of the day. 

Be on the look out for more ...Because I have a lot up my sleeve. 










 

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Monday, December 7, 2020

Just another fashion post

 There are 24 days left of 2020. It really feels like the longest year. I feel like I went through the stages of grief or something. It's insane how much life has happened just in the last 9 months. 9 MONTHS!!! It's like we went into a chaotic cocoon of transformation. Wow that was really cheesy but you get the point. 

What have you done? Do you feel you have accomplished anything? I really was hopeful for 2020. I'm sure we all were. I can't tell you how many times I heard people say "2020 is going to be my year". I hope you still made the best of it. I hope you figured things out about yourself. 


I'm hoping to finish off this year well. I hope you are too! By the way this isn't a New Years post.. Even though it sounds like it. I'm just rambling at this point. 

Cheers!






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Wednesday, November 4, 2020

Days of Thankfulness

 Well today is a crazy day isn't it! We are living in the twilight zone people. I can't even with this year. It's almost over but it doesn't make me excited for next year. Then I took a double take at the date and realized it's been a whole month since I posted anything. 

 

Oops! 

 

It's been like this so much this year. It hasn't been a priority. I'm trying to fit all these things in and then something ends up falling through the cracks. Since it's November now I wanted to make a list of all the things good and positive this year. A few of the things I'm thankful for. 

 

1} The family and I moved to a new place. Throw a pandemic in there and we have had tons more time together. 

2} We saved enough money for my new car! {Also a result of the pandemic}You can find that post here.

 

3} I wrote 5 songs this year and recorded two of them. { "Waves" is out now available on all streaming platforms.}


4} Found a great church with lots of awesome new friends pretty quickly. 


5} I now have an office/studio space in our new house. Super excited for the progress I'm making with it.

 

 






 


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Thursday, September 24, 2020

Real Talk: {Toxic Relationships}

 


 

This year or maybe even a little longer has been the year of self reflection for a lot. We are stuck inside with our thoughts, our feelings. The worst parts or the best parts of ourselves are showing. I've been wanting to address this topic for awhile now. I feel like it's a common topic that people don't really talk about. I've been gathering my thoughts on it. I've been reevaluating past relationships/friendships and current ones.  I'm no stranger to toxic people. I'm sure you aren't either. Sometimes it's so abundantly clear that its toxic and you don't want to, or don't know how to get away from it. Or sometimes it's a sneaky little devil. Something doesn't sit well with you but you ignore it, or you can't put your finger on it. 

It's something that I feel like I have dealt with it a lot in my past. I don't think we are equipped as a young person to develop healthy boundaries. To speak up when we our feelings are hurt, when we are offended etc. Then we just grow into those bad habits. We allow people to cross the boundaries and it ends up being a vicious cycle. I can admit that in some of my own cases I initiated relationships or friendships for some other reasons maybe to put a band-aid on some old hurt. I also can admit I allowed others to overstay their welcome in my life. Because I was glutton for punishment. Or maybe I was trying to prove something to that one person or to myself. I'm not sure. 

I dove into research. Self help books, The bible, Church sermons. I wanted to know what the bible said not necessarily what the world said about distancing yourself from toxic relationships. I thought there had to be a marriage between the two. It can't be so black and white. "Love all people, forgive all people" doesn't mean allowing them to be in your life. It doesn't mean allow them to continue the pain, abuse, control, the manipulation. No matter who they are.  I'm not a big fan on confrontation. But I do believe in addressing things with a person and allowing them the chance to change. If they don't its on them its no longer on your shoulders.

 I've had several relationships that are toxic, or unhealthy. You don't see it in the beginning or even your own true intentions of starting that relationship. If it was started base on the wrong thing it will eventually grow into a toxic relationship. I had to walk away from several. Maybe it wasn't a healthy situation for both sides and someone needed to be the one to pull the plug. It brought out bad feelings on both sides. Friendships/relationships shouldn't leave you feeling like that at the end of the day. They should lift you up, support you, encourage you, be your own cheerleader. They shouldn't criticize you or tear you down under the guise of love or something else. It shouldn't be an unspoken competition to see who is better. It shouldn't be not telling true feelings or confronting an issue for fear of an argument or backlash or some other consequences.

With all that said I've accumulated a lot of different information on toxic relationships/friendships. How to spot them, how to work through them etc.  It's never that easy to just walk away. But your life will be the better for it and maybe even their life.

 

 Harbor Church "Toxic Series"

 

"When Toxic relationships go unchecked it can imprison our future" 

1: Relationships where only one person is in control. {Is my opinion valued? Do I feel like I can never do anything right?}

2: Relationships based on manipulation. {Is this person taking advantage of me?}

3: Relationships based on lies. {Can I trust this person? Or do they have a pattern of deceitfulness?}

4: Relationships where one person always puts their needs first. {They are selfish}


 

"Red Flags" from Top Buzz Blog  

5: "Conditional friendship. We’re friends until I question you in the slightest way, and if I do, the relationship is tanked."

6:"Inability or unwillingness to apologize when they do something wrong. It’s symptomatic of an ego issue that will eventually infect every aspect of your friendship."

7:"Continually feeling like you want to say something but should hold your tongue."

 



What does the bible say ? - Beliefnet.com

When faced with toxic people.

"Ending these types of relationships can be very scary, and the person is likely to erupt in anger. Trust God to help you recognize when a relationship is becoming detrimental to your business, your spirituality, or the health of your family life. Further trust Him to give you the courage to end the relationship, and to give you thick enough skin to take the criticism that you may face for ending the relationship.

God actually warns us of the many different types of toxic people we might encounter in our daily lives.

Some people we are to avoid friendship with include: the violent man (Proverbs 16:29, Proverbs 1:10-12), the wicked man (Proverbs 12:26, Proverbs 4:14-17), the gossip (Proverbs 16:28), the perverse (Proverbs 16:30), those who engage in deeds of darkness (Ephesians 5:11, Proverbs 2:12), the thief (Proverbs 1:10-19), and the adulterous woman (Proverbs 2:16-19). Furthermore, 2 Timothy 3:1-5 tells us we should not be friends with lovers of self, lovers of money, the proud, the abusive, those disobedient to parents, the ungrateful, the heartless, lovers of pleasure, etc.


"We are likely to be faced with a toxic relationship sometime in our lives. This might be someone very close to us, like our own parent, or someone in leadership such as a boss. Whatever you face, understand that these relationships are not a blessing from the Lord. When the devil wants to tear you down, he will send people to do so. Learn that these types of behaviors are not healthy, and do what is necessary to remove yourself from the situation."

 

Psalm 147:3 tells us that God "heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Only God's healing power can truly restore peace to a broken or traumatized heart. As much as we wish that the toxic person would apologize, there are many times where that simply won't happen. Only God will be able to truly heal us where we are broken.  

 

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Quotes from "Unglued" by Lysa Terkeurst

 


“Forgiveness is mandatory; reconciliation is optional.”
Lysa TerKeurst, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions

 

"My job isn't to fix this person or make them see my side of things. My job is to obey God by offering an extension of the forgiveness I've been given. But I can also stay healthy in this situation by remembering forgiveness doesn't mean giving this person access in my life that sets me up for destructive patterns." Lysa TerKeurst, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions

 

“Saying “I’m fine” to keep the peace, when we’re really not fine, isn’t honest. It may seem godly in the moment, but it’s false godliness. Truth and godliness always walk hand in hand. The minute we divorce one from the other, we stray from soul integrity and give a foothold to the instability that inevitably leads to coming unglued.”
Lysa TerKeurst, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions  

 

“When we have the same thought again, the line of the original thought is deepened, causing what's called a memory trace. With each repetition the trace goes deeper and deeper, forming and embedding a pattern of thought. When an emotion is tied to this thought pattern, the memory trace grows exponentially stronger.”
Lysa TerKeurst, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions 

 

“But it is a rare and beautiful thing when we choose to offer love in situations when most people would choose to scorn or ignore.”
Lysa TerKeurst, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions 

 

“Friendships are like plowed open fields ready for growth. What we plant is what will grow. If we plant seeds of reassurance, blessing, and love, we reap a great harvest of security. Of course, if we plant seeds of backbiting, questioning, and doubt, we reap a great harvest of insecurity.”
Lysa TerKeurst, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions  
 
 

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