Studio/ adventure time

Like I said before I had a few more summer outfits up my sleeve. 

I also wanted to post about this awesome studio I got to record in this summer. Perfect! I can kill two birds with one stone. Arizona in the summer is no joke let me tell you. Triple digit heat the entire time I was there. While the trip was a great recording time. It seemed like anything that could go wrong did. It went so wrong. But now I guess I can laugh about it. That's what you have to do. You have to laugh at these things because it can't possibly be real life but in fact it is. 

Let's start at the beginning. 

I accidentally forgot about Father's day and that is when I booked my trip. The hubby was gone anyway so it completely slipped my mind. So we had to change the flight. My mom who was coming to watch the kids had to change her flight. It was a pain. Then other problems came up with location. I almost had to make a studio in my house to record. We ended up making it happen last minute and secured some studio space. It ended up being a beautiful studio so it didn't bother me too much. 

I was actually packed with no issues and to the airport on time and everything. Starting at 7am. 

After sitting and waiting for awhile waiting for the actual plane to arrive. They finally told us that there was something wrong with it and we had to switch planes. So I moved to another gate and they ended up calling me to the desk. I was going to miss my connecting flight so they switched me to a non stop flight. Sounds great right? No. It was not great. They asked me "What does your bag look like?" I knew that was going to be trouble.

I moved to my new gate. That's gate change #3 if you are keeping count. As I'm waiting for this new flight their entire system goes down. Like no flights going out,  nothing works anymore. I'm stuck! I think I waited like 3 or 4 more hours. Then when they went back up I stood in line to get on only to find out it wasn't my flight. I was on the next one. After waiting for that flight I finally got on so drained and exhausted. Especially with not having a break from wearing the mask. 

I landed about an hour or so later then I was supposed to. Only to find out guess what... They lost my bag! I had a feeling and sure enough it happened. Thankfully and I mean thankfully I had a change of clothes in my carryon bag because I never do. We rushed straight to the studio and got to work. 

We only got to work for a couple hours because we were late. We managed to get some good takes but we were both running on fumes. Exhausted and hungry it was insane. It was too late to have anything delivered to the studio so we made plans to grab something close by. Alas! It was closed we parked along the little strip where there were restaurants and shops. (That area is a college town). 

As soon as I stepped out of the car. I. KID. YOU. NOT! My sandal broke! It broke and not in the normal flip flop way where it just come out of the little hole and you can pop it back in and you are good to to. Nope! Not my luck today! It was a clean slice on the strap! There was nothing nearby except a Urban Outfitters (too expensive for a quick sandal fix) and a little boutique. I don't even remember the name of it. But shout out to the sweet girl working who took me in looking like a disheveled drunk gimpy person. Together we scotch taped and stapled the crap out of that sandal. At least to get me through to dinner. 

He walked and I limped to the restaurant where I begged them to sit us anywhere I didn't care we just needed food. Then I completely lost the hostess as she was leading us to our table. (Keep in mind she was standing behind a post/wall in the middle of the room. But we'll keep that part for dramatic flare. We ate our food then went to Target. As I tried my hardest to remember all the things I needed that were in my missing bag. I overhear that dreaded announcement over the speaker. "The store will be closing in 15 minutes please gather all your items to the front of the store." NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I didn't even know the layout of the store. I'm scrambling trying to make my brain work on overdrive. I managed to think just enough to get what I needed and I was off to my hotel. 

I get checked into my room and collapse on the bed. After getting all situated with all my stuff. Carry on bag and all. I realized I needed something more. I needed one more thing to make this day even better. The Lord heard my cries and granted me such a gift. My monthly friend came for a visit and that was just the cherry on top on the best day ever!

P.S The next morning I realized I didn't have all my medications so I had to walk in the triple digit heat to the store to grab more supplies. The good thing about it is I did get a couple awesome songs out of it. Got to record in an amazing studio Saint Celia Studios in Tucson, Arizona! Shout out to them! It was a fun little adventure.

P.S.S My bag finally did come THE DAY BEFORE I left to go back home. But I did get a $100 voucher over it. Which probably wasn't an even trade but whatever at this point. There was also still some issues with flight changes going back home but I still made it in time. 

The moral of the story here is go check out my song "August" which is out now. Now that you know kind of its origin story.

The thief of joy

Have you ever had a mid-life crisis? What actually constitutes a mid-life crisis. Am I too young for that at 33 years old? Maybe it's not an actual mid-life crisis, or even a crisis. Maybe it's a early life awakening. Yeah! I think that's what we will call it for argument sake. It could very well be the fact that we are starting a new decade now. I feel like major changes and decisions need to be made.

 In my previous post I mentioned a lot about self-care and taking the toxic poison out of my life. Negative thoughts, people, bad habits etc. Anything that can be a trigger in taking me down. I spent a couple decades falling into same patterns. 2020 was the perfect way for a fresh start. I'm getting too old for that stuff anyway. I recently found new podcasts that help a lot with that motivation and the constant self reflection. In an episode on Rachel Cruz's podcast she brought on a specialist that said when you have negative thoughts you actually are damaging your brain. I never even thought about that. Mind blown am I right? That was just the confirmation I needed to kick my butt into high gear. 

I'm 33 years old. Yes that's me closer to 40 then I was before. Have I learned much from my twenties or even in the last 3 years of my thirties. I feel like I have in some aspects of my life. In others not so much. Those sneaky little demons always creep up. So much I wrote a song about it that may very well be coming out soon so be on the lookout for that. 

I thought I would be at a different place in my life then I am, maybe just internally. I have to remind myself constantly of the things that I have accomplished. Where I am after the tumultuous roads I was taken down. I forget that that's inspiring to others. If it wasn't me I probably would be inspired. Why are we so self critical of ourselves? The grass isn't always greener on the other side. We are always wanting what someone else has because it makes us feel bad about what God has given us. I even heard about it in church this week. God's constantly saying "stay in your lane". God has something specific for your life. God has given you a set of gifts and tools and a purpose and only YOU can fulfill that. Comparison is the killer of dreams and the enemies biggest tool. Because he is a tool. HA! Just keeping it light. 

Bottom line here is I have to do the right things for my soul. If that means unfollowing people on social media if they trigger bad feelings for me. Detach myself from unhealthy relationships/friendships. Run after the positive things. Healing, my passions, bettering my marriage, my relationship with my kids, our home life. Focus on my creative outlets. At the end of the day I am a creative person. I know in my soul what I was put on this earth for. To what capacity I'm not sure. But you bet your great aunt sally that I will be chasing it. I know that God has given me these gifts (sometimes it feels like a curse i.e deep feelings, empathetic) for a reason. I will use them! 

On a side note: There's nothing wrong with having other passions and do them too. I'm working on that too because I'm a planner. I know the music industry is finicky so having my other passions on the back burner is a smart thing to do. 

I know this is the longest blog post I've written in awhile. It may have been only for my benefit. But I hope you can take something from this. Figure out your dreams and chase the heck out of it. It will feed your soul. Remember someone else's success does not take away from your own. 

In other news. Here's another winter outfit before spring comes. (I'm so behind)  

Fashion Friday {Girl Power}

 The last couple months have been at a standstill for me. I was on such a roll with writing music and making progress. Then everything stalled for a bit. I kno[w it's something to probably get used to. It did allow me to focus on being a mom and wife for a bit. Mostly "mom" because the hubby was gone for about six weeks and I had my hands full. But today finally I got back on track with my music. It's like slowing down in a race and everyone is passing you by. Soon enough that second wind kicks in and you're in it to win it! I can't wait to finish this project and see where the next chapter takes me. Hopefully somewhere! 

Happy Friday everyone! 

Top: Ross, Jacket: Windsor, Skirt: Forever21, Boots: Belk, Necklaces: Stylesforless

Model and Talent expo June 2017

It's already been a month since I had my trip to Dallas for the Model and Talent Expo. What a whirlwind it was. I had spent months and months preparing for it. I even almost wanted to back out entirely. It was so overwhelming and scary to think of auditioning multiple times in front of tons of people for a week straight. The way that I function best is by obsessing, preparing going over everything a million times over. Which is what I did. I planned every single outfit for every audition. I practiced my monologue, and my two-person scene in the bathroom, in the shower, randomly at my kids. (Who got sick of it by the way.) Yet, I still found myself overwhelmed by fear. As much as I was prepared and thought I was confident and secure. No matter how many times I told myself that it's no big deal, just do your best and that's it. There is still this build up of pressure in my mind. "This is your one and only chance so don't mess it up!"
Those things circled around in my head throughout the entire trip.

Arrived there in the late afternoon. I saw a huge line of really tall, really pretty people signing in. Got intimidated right away! Luckily the first of the auditions didn't start until the day after.

Day 1: The festivities didn't start until in the late afternoon. We had to meet our  "Mother agent" to get all checked in and get all our information. We had the big overview up first. Where we get up on stage and say our name, and our mother agency. I was so nervous just doing that. I literally thought I was going to die. I don't know why I was freaking out so bad. I just didn't want to mess up my name or something or trip on the runway. I was number 1209 out of 500-600 people. I had a long time to freak out in my chair that's for sure. Once it was over I could breathe again but it did not make me hopeful for the rest of the week. Then it was on to the Meet and Greet. Which was basically a dance party and a chance to pay for a picture with Mike Beaty. It was a nice chance to get to know the people from my mother agency.

 

Day 2: First up was the singer/songwriter/dance audition. I had to stand in a big line to get in a small room with a group of four other people. I had to sing for 1 minute of my cover song, and an original song. I didn't have music for my original song so I sang it acapella. I knew that would be a gamble. But I didn't really have a choice. I can't play an instrument really and I had no one to help me put music to it without having to pay more money. There were four music producers sitting facing the wall. We sat down in the chairs behind them. They picked me to go first of course. I prayed over and over to not forget my words and only God got me through it. When I get nervous my mind goes blank. It was out of body I though for sure I forgot them but my mouth kept moving and the words kept coming. After I checked that off my list I ran across the hall back to ballroom to the seminars they had going on what we need to know in the business. Then had to rush back to my room to change for monologue audition outfit. They split up the numbers so I was in the second group. Again, more waiting after the hundreds of people went before me. As the rows in front of me started emptying I just prayed and prayed over again to not forget my monologue. Then my ears perked when I realized someone before me started saying my lines along with me. Yep, you guessed it someone else was doing the same monologue as me. I thought I would be the only one! I didn't even want to do this monologue it's kind of embarassing. I was told that it was the best one and it would make me stand out. Well I went up there and did it. I was so glad it was over with and I could brain dump it out of my head. I was done for the day but by that time it was getting to be late and I told my group I would stay and watch their troupe rehearsal.

Day 3: I got the call back for the singing audition. That meant I got to sing 2 minutes of my song in the ballroom for the rest of the scouts. I thought I would be less scared since I was up there before. I was good until I got backstage. I was really enjoying everyone else's  audition that I realized oh no what's the first line of the song! I got myself together and went out there and did it. It was so nice to be super loud with the microphone let me tell you! After that I ran back across the room and knocked out my 2-person scene audition. At that point I was so happy to be done with the other stuff that I just went in there and did it really fast. It was only a 30-second scene but I just wanted to take a breath. Then back to the ballroom for the business of music seminar. It was like the first day of school I sat in the front row taking notes and asking questions. Then I had enough time to eat and then get back to the room to change for the sportswear audition. Then I was finally able to relax at the showcase. They picked models from the overview to walk in the fashion show and picked dancers and singers for the talent portion. It was a good show!

Day 4: Last day of auditions. Last thing on the list was the cold read audition. Again I was a nervous wreck. Having to wait til my number was called. We get a little commercial to read on stage. Luckily we didn't have to memorize it but mine was a bit wordy. Then back upstairs to change for the runway audition. Which had to be an all black outfit. I had this mini dress picked out but I brought a ball gown last minute. My mom who came with to support me was able to hem it for me last minute and I wore that instead. I felt I had to step it up a bit and try to stand out. Then I got to change and start the crazy business of the one on ones and call backs. It was insane! We had 50 minutes in each room to talk to the different scouts, agencies etc. We stood in lines most of the time and didn't get to everyone. It was like a weird speed dating experience. It was so late by the time we had call backs afterward. I had a total of 6 callbacks. I was really surprised! Most of them were for music which was really exciting. I got a lot of great feedback and felt confident and excited to see what was coming next.

Day 5: Last day! All that was left was the awards ceremony. They went through all the scholarships, then all the divisions. Then they got to my division and I was so surprised to hear my number called out! I even said "That's me!" I got 1st place for that silly embarrassing monologue!! Hilarious right? Then my number got called again! This time 2nd place for adult singers. A picture of me singing even got put in the video. I was not expecting any of it. I never win anything!

Now it was time to go home. It was bittersweet. I had made some great friends throughout the week. It was like going to camp with all these people who love doing the same things as you. It was really exciting and I'm so excited for all the opportunities for all the friends I've made.

The Aftermath:
I have been talking to a couple different producers on potentially working together. One sounds really promising. I will update that soon since nothing is set in stone yet. In the mean time I'm going to be raising money again to put towards all of it. But thank you guys so much for following along in this journey. Supporting me, praying for me, thinking about me, rooting me on! I appreciate it so much! Love you all!