Ghosting

 Now in the past I’ve discussed toxic friendships. But we have never gotten into ghosting, or being ghosted. 

It’s something that I half understand and half don’t understand. Why a friend will just up and not talk to you anymore without a word or explanation. They just disappear into the night. What do you do with that? 

Do you confront the issue, show up at their door? Do you let it go and move on?

What if you are an over thinker and it keeps you up at night wondering what you did wrong but are paralyzed on how to fix it. No matter how you deal with it ghosting can hurt. More than a first date situation. You have spent so much time and so many months or even years into a friendship only to have it gone with no word. That hurts! I’m not saying it doesn’t. I don’t have all the answers this is just an observation post. I have had a few friendships that ended this way. If that’s what you even want to call it. There is a grieving process. Something important to you ended abruptly. 

They say not all friendships are meant to last. But you can’t help but take it a little personally. 

I’ve been an army wife for 16 years now. I’m used to starting in a new place for a couple of years or less only to move again and say goodbye to those friendships. 

I used to be really hurt when friends wouldn’t stay in touch. But now I feel grateful when I have those 1-2 friends that still stay in contact with me from each duty station. I’ve always cared a lot (maybe too much or too deeply at times). So, I always felt like I wasn’t important enough to that person. That’s a lie! I believe now the real friends are the ones that will push through those army moves and stay true as a friend. 

I know I am probably guilty of this. I will admit I am really good at cutting people out of my life sometimes. You pair that with my loathing of confrontation. It can seem like I don't care. I do care! I'm not sure thats everyones reasoning for ghosting. Sometimes the ball has been in someone else's court and they just missed their turn and I didn't reach out. Regardless of who's "fault" it might be. The reality of it is then too much time has passed and no one wants to be "that"  person to reach out first. No one wants to admit anything. No one wants to have those hard conversations. Unfortunately, the hard conversations are what makes us adults. But who wants to be that right?

If you change your perspective on friendships then it might hurt a little less. There's a season in your life where you have certain friendships. You can grow apart or it can be a toxic situation. All friendships though are something we can learn from. Whether it's a lesson of who we don't want to be. Lessons of what you want out of a friendship. Life lessons that they can teach you from their own experiences.

What's that saying? "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." - Dr Seuss

Things I learned in my 30's ....so far

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm fairly new to the 30's gang. Right there in the middle. In fact it's so new that I actually keep forgetting how old I really am. People ask me how old I am and I have to think for a moment before I blurt out the wrong age. My kids are getting to the point where they will gladly remind me of my age and how "old" I am. I don't feel old though, I feel exactly the same age. My mind has just grown, aged like a fine wine I suppose. I appreciate all the lessons learned, all the healing that has gone on throughout the years. 

So much so that I wanted to compile a list of things I have learned. Not just to share but to have a reminder right here when I want to go back and look. 

 

 

 

*I have learned that there is no competition. Each person was given skills, talents, etc and in Gods timing for them that's when they will succeed in what is meant for them and their life.

*Stay in your lane. Mind your business. Pay attention to what's going on in your own life. Don't worry about what other people are doing.

*Everything you tend to not like about yourself or that you are insecure about will end up being cool or trendy after awhile. So don't sweat it!

*Stay away from toxic, unhealthy relationships/friendships they will suck all the joy out of your life. 

*Boundaries are so important. Figure yours out and stick to them. 

*Having good friends that will check you and hold you accountable is a good thing! 

*Don't be afraid to try new things and go to new places. There's so much out there in the world that we are meant to experience. Don't let fear hold you back.

*It's ok to not have a credit card, car loans, etc. Don't feel like you have to keep up with other people. Slow and steady wins the race.

*Trust in your gifts they were given to YOU for a reason. Don't doubt yourself you have a story to tell, that will inspire others.

*Stress will literally make you sick and take years off of your life. 

 

* If you make fun of yourself, or put yourself down. You are giving everyone else permission to do so too. 

I know that I am not done learning things. There's so much more in life, more people to learn from. Take the time to learn, see, hear, absorb, and heal.

Cheers to the 30's club!

In love with Summer

 It's still warm here so I'm going to say that Fall has not officially started yet. I'm going to sneak in a few more summer outfits before I have to transition. 

I haven't even started decorating for Fall yet. 

When do you start putting those pumpkins out?

Last year I waited too long because I was so distracted. I'm trying to not be this year. I don't know what's got me overthinking decor lately. I'm being too indecisive. I just need to go with it. That's when my best creativity comes out. 

But you know I can't resist when Target Dollar spot puts out those cute pumpkins. I probably have way too many at this point. 

But we are going to go with it. Put pumpkins EVERYWHERE!

So here's to those last few summer outfits you want to wear a few times before Sweater Weather is here to stay. 

 

 

 

 

 

Fashion Friday

 How is it already November?! There's literally 52 days left of this year. This has been such a crazy year. I started out this year dropping my very first EP in February. It's been a slow and steady pace since then. I have learned that the music business is very slow. It's a constant waiting game. In fact it was until this week that I finally wrote a song for another artist. That sounds so crazy to me. It's definitely a new experience. It's hard to put time and effort into something creative just to give it away to someone else. I'm learning to cope with it. Because that's part of the gig of being a songwriter. At least that's what I've been telling myself. All singer/songwriters do it! Avril Lavigne wrote for Kelly Clarkson, Jessie J wrote for Miley Cyrus. I can do this!! 

Until the next track comes along...... Who knows what the future holds for me. #Dreamsdonthavedeadlines

On a side note. This whole outfit is from Ross!! I can't say it enough. Ross is my jam!! I love cute, on trend affordable fashion. This military wife/artist needs things to be affordable!

Fashion Friday {Oktoberfest}

I know its not exactly Halloween yet. But I was feeling the October vibes. All the Halloween movies are playing. Even the weird ones which I got a front row seat to at the nail salon this week. If you haven't seen the old cult classic "Trolls" definitely check that out. But watch it on mute like I did. The weirdest thing I have ever witnessed. 

I've been enjoying pumpkin spice vanilla chai teas, and king size candy bars in preparation for the season. I now just need to attack some decorating in the house with all these pumpkins and I'm good to go. Happy Friday everyone! 

Fashion Friday {Summer Daze}

Summer is officially no more! We've all gotten used to our new normal now. Well, almost there's more things starting this month and it's looking like it's going to be just as crazy as this month.
Starting us off is Hurricane Dorian.
We got a mandatory evacuation early this week. So we decided to take advantage and go visit family before we move. It was also a chance to give them a bunch of stuff that we didn't want anymore so we could start the PCS purge. We do it before every move. You get rid of junk, you have yard sales and you trash a bunch of stuff. The month of September is filling up with visitors, school activities, performances, etc. The PCS countdown begins now. It's going to be hard to leave this place!
Hope everyone has been staying safe during the hurricane and there is no damage.
Hopefully our last hurricane before we move on to the next place .