Personal Post

 

Today is an important day for me. Today is the anniversary of my Thyroidectomy. 

Sometimes I forget that I'm a cancer survivor. Mainly because I didn't have an intense battle like most people have. I was lucky! Some people are not. I still dealt with the same fears as all people do when faced with this diagnosis. My ears went deaf when the Dr gave me the news. The world still went into a haze for me. I still entertained thoughts of leaving my husband and my 9-month old baby girl behind. That's not something a 22-year old young mom should have to think about. It was a scary month from diagnosis to surgery. Then the aftermath thinking I may not get my {singing} voice back. I felt like that was it. This was going to be my end. Nothing makes you really grow up fast then the things I dealt with in my early twenties. 

 I'm so thankful God brought me out of that as if it never happened. All that is left is the scar on my neck and bottle of pills in my drawer to remind me. It definitely changed my outlook on life. It changed everything about me. 

Cancer sucks! It's a horrible disease that has taken too many people. Everyone I know has been affected by cancer in some way. I've known too many who didn't survive. 

I hope that it doesn't take something like this to change your life for the better. You can change your life now. You never know when it's your last day here.

{Music Monday}

This is what I was up to this weekend. Had a nice get together with Mike and his wife for lunch at their place. We were finally able to get some music worked out. It's like no time has passed! Five years doesn't really like five years! We started working on this little clip of guitar I did. I can't play but I tried and was surprised at what came out. He worked it out on guitar then on the keyboards, as I worked out the melody. I'm always writing down lyrics in my phone on the go. So I looked through it and pulled up a song I wrote a couple months ago.
Working with Mike is so easy, relaxed and stress free. No fear of messing up or being judged. Just a peaceful, fun time working on some awesome music. It's not entirely done yet. We need to make adjustments, add a verse here and there. Then it will be done. Not bad for a 1 1/2 hours worth of work. I'm very happy we got to work together again!


In case you don't remember here's a link of the last time we worked together

On a personal note

I don't really believe in keeping feelings to yourself. I like to be honest no matter how much it hurts. If we are not honest, especially with ourselves how can we be normal, or human. I want to help others, even if I'm not so sure all the time how to handle it myself.

October is Pregnancy & Infant loss awareness month. Making it a bittersweet month for our family.
This July we celebrated what would've been our sons 5th birthday.
Since it was such a huge birthday; we went down to the beach. We took a glass heart shaped bottle with little messages from each of us and threw it in the water. No matter how many years go by it's still a hard painful thing. As a mommy I feel I need to do everything I can to preserve the memory of our sweet baby. We talk about him constantly. Little Miss knows all about her big brother in heaven, and talks about him all the time. She tells all her friends and strangers about him. As sad as it is, it makes me happy to keep him present in our lives, in our home etc as much as possible.

I was reminded this morning of the story of Elijah in the bible. I don't think I ever really read much about him growing up. Basically Elijah was a man in need of comfort, exhausted and depressed. God came through and provided that much needed comfort for him.

It makes me wonder if it was always meant to be that I name my baby Elijah. That it all came together somehow. Elijah, God, Comfort. It all ties together....maybe it's just me. It's taken quite a long time to get here. It's a struggle every day, some days are harder than others. No one ever said it would be easy. I have gone through many different feelings and emotions. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We do move forward but we never forget. NEVER EVER FORGET!


 {Quote}

“I was there when your heart beat for the very first time....and for the very last. We will always share a special bond, my heavenly child and I, that absence or time can never undermine". ~ Lori Spray-Esteve

{Verse from this morning} 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is the Father who is full of mercy and all comfort. He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble. we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us.   

 {Bible Verse on Elijah's headstone}

2 Kings 2:11
And it came to pass, as they still went on, and talked, that, behold, there appeared a chariot of fire, and horses of fire, and parted them both asunder; and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven.

Elijah Andrew Reed July 9th 2007

How we honor his memory

Both babies initials put together

P.S Please don't be afraid to comment on this post. Also if you need someone to talk to about losing a child you can email me @ A_Reedphotography@yahoo.com