Ghosting

 Now in the past I’ve discussed toxic friendships. But we have never gotten into ghosting, or being ghosted. 

It’s something that I half understand and half don’t understand. Why a friend will just up and not talk to you anymore without a word or explanation. They just disappear into the night. What do you do with that? 

Do you confront the issue, show up at their door? Do you let it go and move on?

What if you are an over thinker and it keeps you up at night wondering what you did wrong but are paralyzed on how to fix it. No matter how you deal with it ghosting can hurt. More than a first date situation. You have spent so much time and so many months or even years into a friendship only to have it gone with no word. That hurts! I’m not saying it doesn’t. I don’t have all the answers this is just an observation post. I have had a few friendships that ended this way. If that’s what you even want to call it. There is a grieving process. Something important to you ended abruptly. 

They say not all friendships are meant to last. But you can’t help but take it a little personally. 

I’ve been an army wife for 16 years now. I’m used to starting in a new place for a couple of years or less only to move again and say goodbye to those friendships. 

I used to be really hurt when friends wouldn’t stay in touch. But now I feel grateful when I have those 1-2 friends that still stay in contact with me from each duty station. I’ve always cared a lot (maybe too much or too deeply at times). So, I always felt like I wasn’t important enough to that person. That’s a lie! I believe now the real friends are the ones that will push through those army moves and stay true as a friend. 

I know I am probably guilty of this. I will admit I am really good at cutting people out of my life sometimes. You pair that with my loathing of confrontation. It can seem like I don't care. I do care! I'm not sure thats everyones reasoning for ghosting. Sometimes the ball has been in someone else's court and they just missed their turn and I didn't reach out. Regardless of who's "fault" it might be. The reality of it is then too much time has passed and no one wants to be "that"  person to reach out first. No one wants to admit anything. No one wants to have those hard conversations. Unfortunately, the hard conversations are what makes us adults. But who wants to be that right?

If you change your perspective on friendships then it might hurt a little less. There's a season in your life where you have certain friendships. You can grow apart or it can be a toxic situation. All friendships though are something we can learn from. Whether it's a lesson of who we don't want to be. Lessons of what you want out of a friendship. Life lessons that they can teach you from their own experiences.

What's that saying? "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." - Dr Seuss

International Women's Day

 

                                                        Today is International Women's Day! 

I wanted to take some time out to shine a light on some of my fave ladies! They may not be famous, rich or anything like that. But they are important where it counts. Inspiring and raising up the next generation of ladies. 

Some who are small business owners. Some are healthcare workers. Some are influencers. They are working hard to portray strength, perseverance, mental health, healthy body image etc. 

 

                                                                          Instagram: 

                                @adrianawithanuh : Sharing her journey as a single working mom. Encouraging                                         others to have a healthy body image at any size.

                 

                                 @hannah_neese  : Funny, and sweet and encouraging body love and a healthy body                                    image.

                                  @Adoniaglam / @Adonia_by_amber : Single mom and now small business                                                 owner of Adonia Glam. A full service glam squad to help women feel better from the                                     inside out. Also a stroke survivor! 

 

                                  @theamyjanelle  : Single mom sharing her journey of going back to school to                                                 pursue her dreams of working in film.

 

                                    @renewmagazine : Woman owned online magazine. Renew stands for 

                                    Revitalize | Educate | Nurture | Empower Women

 

                        These are just a few special ladies! There are so many more! Encouraging and supporting other women and not tearing them down. We should never compete with one another. We are stronger together. Women united are such a force! Check these ladies out. Give them a follow. Encourage and support the awesome ladies in your life.

 

                                     

                

 

                         

The End.

 I've been thinking about new things to write about. I've been drawing a blank. My thoughts are so jumbled together at the moment that the only way to think clearly is to write out lists. Do one thing at a time. One thought at a time. Then you do the next thing. Which reminds of me that song in Frozen 2. Do the next right thing. 

School is starting soon and I can't deal with the conversations anymore. It's all exhausting. 2020 has been so exhausting. There's so much negativity and toxic words just in the air. I even feel like a broken record just blogging about it now.
I keep thinking of the movie "Tomorrowland" at the end of the movie the reason there was no hope for humanity was because all they ever did was completely consume themselves with the negative in the world. "Wars, famine, global warming, Save the dolphins, save the bees, save the children!"

With all the negativity you snuff out the light, the hope. It's not all fire and brimstone folks. There's love, compassion, truth, grace, mercy etc. 

I'm taking myself out of that narrative. I'm pulling a Taylor Swift. 

"Look what you made me do" 

I don't watch the news. 

I don't believe its the END of the world. However, every day we come closer to it. 

I won't go down the rabbit holes of conspiracy theories. 

I won't live in fear. But I will wear a mask.

 

The End. 

 

 

Songbird

I'm alive! I made it to and back from my trip to record in one piece. It was like traveling in the twilight zone. Going through the airport was a breeze. There was a lot of mask wearing folks social distancing themselves from me. I finally got a whole row to myself which was greatly appreciated. I gotta say it was not that bad. It's actually the most clean I've ever seen an airplane that clean let alone an airport. 

I had a blast recording this time around and I'm so excited for the new music that I'm going to release. 

It's hard to not share it now with everyone but got to put the finishing touches on and pick the exact right time. But I hope you guys will love it as much as I do.

In the mean time we can just enjoy the nice spring weather and check out this spring floral outfit I put together. Floral prints always get me in the mood for Spring.  

See how else I styled this skirt:

Coachella Dreams

Fashion Friday

Help me Mama

Mad World

                                                                                                         

      How many of you are going a little insane already with this remote learning? Not just remote learning but the idea of homeschooling my tween who's pretty much already a full fledged teenager at this point. We've been doing it wrong this whole last week and half and are now playing catch up. I also hate math. My brain automatically shuts off when a math                    problem presents itself. Which is ironic seeing how I am nerd when it comes to our monthly budget. My need to solve a problem must overpower my hatred for math at that point I guess.

        It's Good Friday everyone and Easter is right around the corner. I hope you are all gearing up for your at home festivities and picking out your basic Easter outfits that no one will probably see.  

              We are pretty much used to that anyway. We will miss going to actual church though. I hope everyone has a great Easter!

                                                                                                                                                                        He is Risen!                             

Friday Feels

Well, we just got word over here that we are officially not going back to school for the rest of the year. There are a few things that I didn't do beforehand that I'm happy with my decision now. 

One: I'm glad I didn't sign little man up for preschool. I knew it was only going to be for a few months anyway and I didn't want to waste the money. We have already been homeschooling him since February. I'm thankful for that. 

Two: I'm glad I didn't sign up for a ton of extra curricular activities it would've been another waste of money. 

Three: I'm glad we moved when we did. I couldn't imagine having to do that now. Or not being able to say goodbye to our friends before leaving. I know for some military families that is the case and it's so hard. 

Home schooling hasn't been all that bad so far. I think it's a lot easier when someone else has put together the curriculum for little miss. Which makes me just a glorified study hall monitor. It takes me back to my home school/charter days. I'm not even sure how I made it through jr high and high school.

On a side note I am putting together a blog post of all the ways we are getting through this quarantine life. Here's to hoping it ends sooner rather than later. This is nuts!

The thief of joy

Have you ever had a mid-life crisis? What actually constitutes a mid-life crisis. Am I too young for that at 33 years old? Maybe it's not an actual mid-life crisis, or even a crisis. Maybe it's a early life awakening. Yeah! I think that's what we will call it for argument sake. It could very well be the fact that we are starting a new decade now. I feel like major changes and decisions need to be made.

 In my previous post I mentioned a lot about self-care and taking the toxic poison out of my life. Negative thoughts, people, bad habits etc. Anything that can be a trigger in taking me down. I spent a couple decades falling into same patterns. 2020 was the perfect way for a fresh start. I'm getting too old for that stuff anyway. I recently found new podcasts that help a lot with that motivation and the constant self reflection. In an episode on Rachel Cruz's podcast she brought on a specialist that said when you have negative thoughts you actually are damaging your brain. I never even thought about that. Mind blown am I right? That was just the confirmation I needed to kick my butt into high gear. 

I'm 33 years old. Yes that's me closer to 40 then I was before. Have I learned much from my twenties or even in the last 3 years of my thirties. I feel like I have in some aspects of my life. In others not so much. Those sneaky little demons always creep up. So much I wrote a song about it that may very well be coming out soon so be on the lookout for that. 

I thought I would be at a different place in my life then I am, maybe just internally. I have to remind myself constantly of the things that I have accomplished. Where I am after the tumultuous roads I was taken down. I forget that that's inspiring to others. If it wasn't me I probably would be inspired. Why are we so self critical of ourselves? The grass isn't always greener on the other side. We are always wanting what someone else has because it makes us feel bad about what God has given us. I even heard about it in church this week. God's constantly saying "stay in your lane". God has something specific for your life. God has given you a set of gifts and tools and a purpose and only YOU can fulfill that. Comparison is the killer of dreams and the enemies biggest tool. Because he is a tool. HA! Just keeping it light. 

Bottom line here is I have to do the right things for my soul. If that means unfollowing people on social media if they trigger bad feelings for me. Detach myself from unhealthy relationships/friendships. Run after the positive things. Healing, my passions, bettering my marriage, my relationship with my kids, our home life. Focus on my creative outlets. At the end of the day I am a creative person. I know in my soul what I was put on this earth for. To what capacity I'm not sure. But you bet your great aunt sally that I will be chasing it. I know that God has given me these gifts (sometimes it feels like a curse i.e deep feelings, empathetic) for a reason. I will use them! 

On a side note: There's nothing wrong with having other passions and do them too. I'm working on that too because I'm a planner. I know the music industry is finicky so having my other passions on the back burner is a smart thing to do. 

I know this is the longest blog post I've written in awhile. It may have been only for my benefit. But I hope you can take something from this. Figure out your dreams and chase the heck out of it. It will feed your soul. Remember someone else's success does not take away from your own. 

In other news. Here's another winter outfit before spring comes. (I'm so behind)