Ghosting

 Now in the past I’ve discussed toxic friendships. But we have never gotten into ghosting, or being ghosted. 

It’s something that I half understand and half don’t understand. Why a friend will just up and not talk to you anymore without a word or explanation. They just disappear into the night. What do you do with that? 

Do you confront the issue, show up at their door? Do you let it go and move on?

What if you are an over thinker and it keeps you up at night wondering what you did wrong but are paralyzed on how to fix it. No matter how you deal with it ghosting can hurt. More than a first date situation. You have spent so much time and so many months or even years into a friendship only to have it gone with no word. That hurts! I’m not saying it doesn’t. I don’t have all the answers this is just an observation post. I have had a few friendships that ended this way. If that’s what you even want to call it. There is a grieving process. Something important to you ended abruptly. 

They say not all friendships are meant to last. But you can’t help but take it a little personally. 

I’ve been an army wife for 16 years now. I’m used to starting in a new place for a couple of years or less only to move again and say goodbye to those friendships. 

I used to be really hurt when friends wouldn’t stay in touch. But now I feel grateful when I have those 1-2 friends that still stay in contact with me from each duty station. I’ve always cared a lot (maybe too much or too deeply at times). So, I always felt like I wasn’t important enough to that person. That’s a lie! I believe now the real friends are the ones that will push through those army moves and stay true as a friend. 

I know I am probably guilty of this. I will admit I am really good at cutting people out of my life sometimes. You pair that with my loathing of confrontation. It can seem like I don't care. I do care! I'm not sure thats everyones reasoning for ghosting. Sometimes the ball has been in someone else's court and they just missed their turn and I didn't reach out. Regardless of who's "fault" it might be. The reality of it is then too much time has passed and no one wants to be "that"  person to reach out first. No one wants to admit anything. No one wants to have those hard conversations. Unfortunately, the hard conversations are what makes us adults. But who wants to be that right?

If you change your perspective on friendships then it might hurt a little less. There's a season in your life where you have certain friendships. You can grow apart or it can be a toxic situation. All friendships though are something we can learn from. Whether it's a lesson of who we don't want to be. Lessons of what you want out of a friendship. Life lessons that they can teach you from their own experiences.

What's that saying? "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." - Dr Seuss

Restfulness

 Took a week off of work. I was in desperate need of a recharge. Doing this thing on my own has been overwhelming to say the least. 

It made me think of different ways you can rest. 

1: Sleep in. {Don't set an alarm, keep it on do not disturb, turn it off entirely}

2: Stay in PJ's all day and do absolutely nothing. {Devotional/Bible time}

3: Let the kids watch TV all day {So they leave you alone}

4: Do some light cleaning {Maybe a small project that you have been putting off.

5: Journal {Do a brain dump of all the thoughts and feelings that are stressing you out}

6: Take a shower/bath and binge watch something on your personal device. {Top it off with some kind of dessert}

{Fashion} Floral Peasant Dress/ pros and cons of listmaking

 

 You know what has been in my head a lot lately. Lists. Always with the lists. It came to my attention last night and into this morning as me and the hubby finished a show on our Netflix list and I was able to take it off. I'm not sure why I am this way actually. You put a list in front of me and I have to do those things on the list. Netflix titles it "My list" well that just makes me want to watch everything on there so I can check it off. This can be good and it can be bad. I did a little research on it. The positive is making lists motivate you. It helps you focus and when you cross those things you feel a sense of accomplishment. A visual, tangible thing that you can see. Also, it's a great way if you are feeling stressed by all the tasks you have to do, it really helps to be able to brain dump them on a piece of paper so you can easily see them and get them done. I feel like those are the main reasons I do the lists. 

The bad however, it's hard to be present. You are always thinking of either making lists or checking things off your list. It's easy to become obsessed with feeling productive. I am definitely guilty of those things. It's hard to stop in the middle of being productive to eat food, or go to the bathroom. You feel like you are on a roll and you can't stop. You want to keep the flow of thought, creativity, and all those great things. If it gets interrupted you lose it all. 

That can also be the result of a creative person though too. Still figuring that all out. 

Some good advice that I did hear in terms of being productive and list making. Is make shorter lists. A list of 3-5 things to only accomplish that day. That will help to make the list less overwhelming as well. Have I taken this advice yet? No ...not at all. My list just keeps getting longer. I even find myself doing things and getting them done but they weren't on my list. So I will actually write them on my lists just so I can check them off. It's still being productive right? So, why not?

Are you obsessed with making lists like I am?

Or are you normal? Please tell me I'm not the only one?

Side note:

I wanted to add more interesting content with my outfit posts. So this is todays outfit. A floral peasant dress. Paired with a leather moto jacket, faux leather booties, and fedora fat.

 

I got nothing.....

    I've been trying to think up new things to blog about. I've been having trouble. You could say its writers block. You could say I'm losing interest. It could be a combination of the two. It's not that I have nothing to say. I'm just having a hard time curating things that I feel might be interesting. It's hard to write posts when I feel like I'm talking to an empty room. Is blogging becoming obsolete? Should I just focus more on my social media. People seem to like short and sweet videos over long pages of content to read. What's the world coming to these days? I like TV and Movies as much as the next person. But I do love to read and write. Are people even reading anymore? I also love discussing things. Having an open dialogue. What about you? 

Comment below so I know you guys are still out there?

 

Old Soul

 Fall is in the air. It's starting to cool down here. The snow isn't too far behind. I see some leaves start to accumulate on the ground. I'm starting to miss a New England Fall a little bit. Nothing beats New England in the Fall. The rich colors within the trees. The apple picking, and all the apple and pumpkin recipes. I got my favorite Fall/Winter Drink mix in the mail. I'm seriously contemplating bringing all my Fall decorations out and going to town! 

I must restrain myself. I have one more week until the kids go back to school in person. Then I think I shall take my sweet time and enjoy the creativity, the alone time. I'm finding joy in the slowdown. The blissful contentment in taking time to create something. UNINTERRUPTED.

I'm a firm believer in having Mommy breaks. A few hours, a couple days to yourself to make sure you are rested, filled up again. I thrive on it. I'm looking forward to some of that soon. 

Also excited to see what I come up with during that time. 

In the meantime. Let's get into Fall! 

What's your favorite Fall tradition?

Falling or Flying {Remote Learning Update}

 

 

I had a moment. Literally just a moment to sneak in here and tell you how insane remote learning is. I'm basically going back to Kindergarten. I'm so thankful for the teachers and the schools for being so flexible, patient and understanding of how our kids are doing during this. We only are set to do it for the first month. I'm hoping and praying they do not extend it ..because... honestly. I'm dying! I'm not ashamed to say that this is the absolute worst. My kid is not the sit down and listen type. At least not in this setting. I literally have to sit next to him all day long to make sure he learns something from his teacher. 

Every day I'm just so thankful to survive the day. I know all the schools are doing things differently. How are you doing things? Are you in person learning? Strictly remote learning? How are you surviving?

On a side note when you are stuck at home doing remote learning you might as well be comfy and cute. These pants are by far my favorite. I have collected 3 different colors new and they are all perfect for fall. They are so versatile. Clearly, because you guys have seen them multiple times. Whats your favorite color to wear for fall?